Monday, September 29, 2008

time to 'let lose' & be FREE

Morning! The parents are finally back from their trip yesterday night. These few days have been lonely sometimes & i got pretty emotional & dramatic. Oh my.. In fact, i am feeling rather broken in my spirit .. & im under the control of fear of losing something in my life..that it just crushes me every night when i try to sleep.

So ya, the feelings really suck and i feel like i am distancing myself with others without me knowing.. & this is a bad move because i can see myself getting bluer each day... but no worries.. i will get back on my feet..

Did alot of reflections lately, sometimes i really feel like i am losing myself in the whole process.. the fear of losing something is swallowing me like a hungry serpent..i tried to put in efforts to solve this problem but.. i am not seeing the outcome i want..perhaps... my effort alone is not sufficient ..

Sometimes, i just wanna give up, but i just felt its a real pity to do so. I've decided to just let things be its 'own' way.. Not trying to give some extra 'push' anymore. Things might just get worse.. i shall FOCUS on what's right infront of me. Time will lead me to the outcome ... Whatever will be the outcome in months to come, i will try to accept it though it might be difficult, but.. i guess that's growing up for me.

Sound like i am pretty good at counseling myself? Lol... i hope i can do what i've mentioned above without feeling too beaten up. Its time to let 'lose' & gain freedom back from fear. Say BYE to fear, your not gonna win against me!!

I feel so good now after singing thoe fast songs with rap.. Long time since i've done that, & i feel some power released from within. You know those kind of feeling like you are reborn with |ife.. i am gonna make the sad spirit be away from me... You are not getting me down..I will stand stronger than before after each breakdown.

My target this week is to pass my Final Theory on Thursday & register for practical... then i shall go meet my ex-colleagues for lunch :)) Friday gonna have driving again, i hope i can learn something new this lesson.

You know what, i've been losing myself for the past few months,going through ups & downs & feeling like i am the only one in the world when the world is so populated... That's the emotion downside of me, but like i say, i feel this phase of life is just to prepare me for the future, so that i will be better in time to come.
I've learnt abit on this emotional aspect and it either makes or breaks me.We'll see that in future.

If God is for me, who is against me?

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