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just received news that i would be returning back to the old department to help out. I didnt feel any elation because the news didnt actually comes from the one who was supposed to inform me. Its either i received the news later or that i would not hear of any news and be transfered back on Monday when i resume work.

In fact, the more days i am away from office, the more i dreaded going back. I predicted that i would be back to help out sooner or later since all the old birds had left/going-to-leave. *sigh* I am confused whether should i continue to help them out or to leave...?

1st thought:

Since exam's going to end this Friday.. & i would have no more school till End of July... i can continue to work Full time and earn some $$ ... i supposed i have to work long hours again ....since the department is still trying to reach stability now after the colleague has left...

2nd thought:

Everyone is leaving (the old birds) . Why am i still struggling around?? Hmm...i dont know about this 2nd thought...it might feel like my heart has taken over my mind... perhaps those people who left or are leaving have made me dont feel like staying and i am using that excuse so that i can make myself feel better and leave the place.

3rd thought:

the situation might not be so bad afterall. Perhaps,i can try working for 1-2 weeks and see how the situation goes?
But in my head,more thoughts are formed...

1)Maybe it is a good period for a trial. I shouldnt back off when challenges
arrive ?

2)Is it worth it to work long hours a day and sacrificed your own leisure time?

3)I dont wish to be a quitter so soon,maybe till end of June/July?

4) If i quit, i am going to have a hard time finding another job before school reopens.

Feeling abit sian la ... i really dont wish to think of so many stuffs in life.. it really makes things complicated this way ... for i have to think of so many "what if" scenarios... and the fact that they might not appear together as a whole picture or even not what to i've expected.

Maybe this situation is created for me to move on with life...Consider the past entry i've written ( i think im alittle way behind on moving on) Yesterday i went back to have lunch with the colleagues..and just by walking past those streets.. i am reminded greatly of the memories i used to have ... somehow things are different now.. the memories around the place remained.. but the feeling that i've got in the office is different... can you understand that?

Its something like you dont really feel "happy" like before and yet you have to stay around the vicinity where all the fond memories used to be... its quite a torture... perhaps,i am too emotional for my own good..

I shall see what i can do about my situation as i resume work next week... maybe.... its really time for me to move on .....

Back to notes...tomorrow's the last paper!!!