ch3misTry&

feeling pretty pessimistic now .. after reading some blogs on cancer patients . . .i really feel so scared all of a sudden . . i didnt noe i was that afraid of death . . when i thought of death . . .i was reminded that i've still many things to accomplish..without life... i wouldnt be able to do it....and it makes me tink of the relationships i have with my family & friends . . bleahz...shouldnt be tinking so much...but u noe the feeling of getting insecure when u thought u hav some of the symptons .... -_-"

but this is also something good .. it makes me tink more of what should i do with my life..instead of idling around...or even feeling unhappy most of the time becoz of what i feel about the world..the peeps around me...sometimes..we all noe its all one-sided...yep...i really feel being depressed is really easy & addictive... & once your in .. .u gonna need abit more effort in getting out... dun let urself fall into the trap!

Lately...i've also learnt what's like to "let-go" ... to let-go..gives a feeling of deliverance... of coz.. u hav to come to terms with your thoughts before you can do so....deliverance means feeling free & easy to me...deliverance means feeling less anguish in u.. i dont know about u .. but i know the feeling of "exploding" when things dun go our way..& they seemed to come one after another..& u feel that everyone/thing is against u . . .this is the phase which i tink is important.. u either fall deeper or u try to get ur way out... if u allow urself to sink deeper.. perhaps.. u'll become resentful .. . & you wouldnt feel happy at all...Life's too short to be unhappy all the time!

hm...feel like i've got lots to say...anyway.. "Tears in Heaven" by Eric Clapton is a song that i felt so much for ONLY today . . .Somehow..i feel the lyrics touches me...below's the lyrics...

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,'
Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.

Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven.

Time can bring you down,
time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart,
have you begging please,begging please.

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure,
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven.