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haiz..im feeling quite vexed now ... was told that i've to submit my Results to the universities i've applied for..the thing is that actually i applied uni for the sake of applying... actually..i've lost the feel to study le...i dont know if it is excuses im giving myself ... i am lost for now...

perhaps i shud just send in my results ba... told my parents tt the posting will only be out in June? Yeah...i dont know..but i just have this feeling that i wont get in lor...but if i get in..i will be in a dilemma again..

1st scenario - i dun have the feel to study le...get in & try to graduate within 3 yrs???am i supposed to do things this way?in this way..im not following my heart..

2nd scenario - i dont get into uni... try applying for spf

3rd scenario - tell my parents that im giving up studying for the time being ( i noe the chances of studying again will be low when you start working instead)

hmm... & if i dont study... i will be starting my working life.. it suddenly seemed so scary to me... coz i dont know what kinda jobs will i be working for the rest of my life..(maybe this part i tink too much ba) i just wanna try out what's out there...there's so many things out there... i just want to try them out...

sometimes... u tink the decisions u made = you follow your heart .. but have u realised that it may not always be the case?

& the decisions we made...often have to be practical & also to follow the norm...when it is different from the norms..we will feel queasy about it... & how questions started forming...

"must i really follow my heart & be different from the peeps around me,what if i made the wrong decisions?"

"am i on the right track?"

"maybe i should just try getting a degree like what they said"

"perhaps i treated my life like a game... i should be more mature in handling things"

"what xxx says realli makes sense...& xxx has more life experiences than me...xxx should be right"


how i wish i have someone right now to tell me a definite answer as to what i should do next... it just dont feel good to be thinking of all these for such a long time & being left stranded out of nowhere.... but i know there's no definite answer to what im asking for... it all has to depend on myself...

yeah..im going for training this fri for my F&B job... the pay is low.. but i just felt like trying what's like to work in a F&B environment...

sometimes...others opinion really do affect me... they will tell me
"you have a diploma,why dont u find other jobs..i am sure they would be paying u more than this"

sometimes...i have to convince myself that i should not take others opinion to heart..but i cant deny the fact that it does matter to a certain extent....

hmm... there are many jobs out there..maybe there are some which i dont even think it is a job! haha...i only know of doctors,nurses,veterian,teacher,scientist,lawyer,policeman,pilot,air stewardess,taxi driver,bus driver,electrician,production officer,clerk,banker,zoo keeper,hawker,waitress,bartender,cashier,chef,insurance agent,manager,sales assistant....arghh...too lazy to continue....where are the other kind of interesting jobs out there?

i heard some people talking about tasting food or testing mattress? haha...quite interesting i would say...hmm.... after typing all these..i felt better...it sorta releases my "unhappiness"

been having the craving for Pizzahut...will be meeting peng to eat...whahaha...very hungry now..juz feel lke eating the breadstick..drumlets...& the pizzas...